A Cat’s Bill of Rights!

As proclaimed by the Feline High Council (aka Luna & Leo)

Preamble:
We, the undersigned cats of this household, in pursuit of comfort, entertainment, and absolute control over our humans, do hereby declare the following unalienable rights.

Let it be known: 🐱

Article I – The Right to Inspect Any Bag, Box, or Basket
If it opens, we’re going in.
If it crinkles, we own it.
If it’s freshly delivered? Congratulations, it’s ours now.

📦 Luna’s Note: I reserve the right to sit in any box and chew on any receipt.

Article II – The Right to Disrupt Human Sleep (Especially at 3AM)
We shall paw faces, knead bellies, chase invisible enemies, and knock over random objects at precisely 3:12 AM.
Sleep is optional. Attention is not.

🕰️ Leo’s Note: That huge mirror I shattered? It had it coming. 😼

Article III – The Right to Choose the Weirdest Water Source
We reject bowls. We demand fresh, free-flowing faucet water. Preferably from the sink.

🚰 Leo’s Note: The bathroom sink is my sacred spring. Please keep it running.

Article IV – The Right to Perch on High Like Royalty
Shelves, wardrobes, cupboards—if it’s tall, we climb it.
We don’t ask. We conquer.

📢 Luna’s Note: Yes, I once climbed to the edge of the balcony. No regrets.

Article V – The Right to Ignore and Then Demand Affection
We may ghost you for hours, then suddenly decide you’re the center of our universe.
Respond accordingly.

💘 Luna’s Note: Beard scratches are non-negotiable. You know the drill.

Article VI – The Right to Supervise All Human Activities
Closet? Explored. Toilet? Attended. Work call? Interrupted.
There shall be no secrets in this house.

🕵️ Luna’s Note: Every cupboard you open, I shall inspect.

Article VII – The Right to Be Weird
We make zoomies at 2AM, stare at walls for no reason, and chirp at birds we’ll never catch.
Deal with it.

Final Clause:
We are not just pets.
We are roommates, royalty, and personal trainers (with claws).
Treat us with the respect outlined above—or face the consequences. Like a shattered vase. Or a chewed charger.

Signed,
Luna & Leo 👑😼

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